Love Me Not! (Part 2)

The sun had woken me up with his harsh rays. I crawled on my bed to find my phone. I had received 182 messages on Watsaap. The 181 messages from Suhas.

“Hey love, I couldn’t sleep.. Missed you baby!”

“Shona, are you there?”

“Tapasya, Are you there? I had a bad dream about you. You were hugging Raghav!”

I scrolled without reading them. In last ten messages he had mentioned about how hard it is for him to live insecure about our love. He cursed the dream as well as me for trying to cheat on him.

This happened often. He hardly slept at night. If at all he did, he dreamt of me and Raghav together. It was my dream as well. I dreamt of me and Raghav together, with my wide open eyes, while he dreamt it with shut eyes!

Last two messages were from Raghav.

“Good morning beautiful!”

“Have a great day.”

I felt beautiful and the next moment panic washed away my happiness. Suhas was calling as usual in the morning.

“Hey morning.” I greeted him trying to sound very sleepy.

“Tapasya, did you read my messages, did you learn about my worries? Why didn’t you reply? I saw you were online for complete 4 minutes. Are you texting Raghav? Did he message you? Are you thinking about him now? Do you fantasize about him you bitch?” he screamed!

“Umm no... I just woke up. I love you and only you. I chanted as usual. I wish he had seen my expressions. It meant no love at all.

“I don’t text him. I see his messages and don’t reply. He wished my morning. That’s it.” I said bluntly. As I knew he would find out somehow.

“That bastard. He can never let a day pass without talking to you. You better not reply him. Why don’t you block him? You should just block him.” he came to a conclusion.

“I am doing everything according to you Suhas. Please don’t ask me to block him. He would text me from another number. Its better I just ignore him. He should know that I am not interested him. Isn’t it?” I explained.

There was a pause. It was a killing, heart shattering pause from both the ends. I wished he was convinced.

“Umm now you spoke like my girl.” Yes he was convinced.

“Get on skype.” He demanded. I quickly got on skype and just before I could see him, I wiped my day old kajal and messed up my hair a little. I tried looking as bad as possible.

“Baby, you have got very bad dark circles. I think you should try the Ayurvedic cream. I don’t remember its name as of now. I will send it to you. Apply it before you go to bed. You will feel cool and relaxed.” He blew kisses at me. His tiny eyes had over flowing love for me.

My cellphone vibrated. It was a message from Raghav. “Shall we meet this evening?” it read.

“Don’t you understand that I am ignoring you?” I typed and sent it to him.

“It was him right?”  Suhas questioned looking angrily at me.                 

I got the cell phone closer to the camera and showed him the reply. He was happy.

“You take care of yourself. I hope you are feeling better today. Get ready for the college.” He said in a concerned tone.

I smiled at him. The day was just usual. I had messages popping from Suhas. It was a mistake when I fell in these problems. It was my fault and hence my sufferings. I totally deserved the shit I was in it.

It was my English class. I had a slight crush on my English Professor. The guilt drowned me like crazy. I could not repeat my mistake again. He smiled at me. It was soothing. I had a life away from two men, I loved as well as hated. At the college, I lived my alternate life. I had few good friends and I was happy.

I felt happy because Suhas had not yet objected about me having friends. I had this least of freedom. I had the habit of switching off my phone while I was at the college just to dump the worries and fears aside.

Nobody at the college could have had the slightest of the idea of how I was living my alternate life away from the college. I had no friend so close to whom I could disclose about this.

It was evening again. I had to on my cellphone and enter the life of problems.

I received 130 messages. They were few forwards and the rest by Suhas. He was jobless, he studied nothing. He had all the time in this world to devote in thinking about me.

“Empty mind is a devil’s workshop!” Suhas’s was a true example. I don’t wish to repeat what the messages were about. It was the same. The similar thoughts of seeing me and Raghav dancing in the rain, singing songs and me cheat on him.

I called him up and chanted, “I love you baby. I love you so much. I am all yours. I am your property.” This instantly cooled him down. I had now learnt the ways of handling him. I had to keep chanting few lines very often.

“I love you more. I am so sorry I keep worrying a lot about us. I simply can’t forget how much you used to love Raghav.” He sighed.

I was about to drop the call and I could see Raghav approaching me near the Gate. He had a mild smile on his face. “Hey Tapasya! I thought I should come to see you. How are you?” I tried to cut the call but I could hear Suhas asking if it was Raghav!

I was in trouble yet again. No chanting could have had helped me then….

To be continued. . .